Regular Gaming

Five Iron Frenzy wrote a song about men's goofy hobbies and pastimes called "Wizard Needs Food, Badly." The song is catchy and important, as it illustrates the need for anyone to continue doing the (basically positive) things that make them who they are. The problem that confronts the mature gamer with a family, mortgage, car payment, etc., is normally 'time to play.' "Oh, I used to play Game X, but I don't have time anymore." As a family man, I fully recognize the responsibility of taking care of your family BEFORE gaming. Billy has to get to soccer, Susie to dance class, wife needs you to fix the car - it can seem suck up every free moment of your time. (I'm not even going to to get into the finances of regular game purchases vs. paying the electric bill. Just pay your damn bills, OK?) What can you do to get more gaming into your active family lifestyle?

1) Game With the Family. OK, I don't expect you to break out some complicated or inappropriate game with wee ones in the house, but there is no greater joy than sharing your love of tabletop gaming with the whole family. This is how many of us were raised: playing Monopoly, Sorry! or Uno with our parents, siblings and cousins. Not only is it an excellent way to bond, these games are simple enough for younger players, while still having a decent level of player interaction and some tactics. A bucket of plastic army men and a few 6-sided dice are a great way to introduce children to mini wargaming without worrying about chipped, lost or broken minis. Risk, the game that many a young grognard cut their teeth on, is great if all the players are old enough to retain the basic rules.

I know that many of you are saying, "This isn't the kind of gaming I wanted to do." It's true, Stratego loses some of its charm after a few games, but that isn't the point: you are raising gamers. Better than that, you are raising well-adjusted gamers, who will be good losers and gracious winners. They might even grow up to use deodorant and/or not be strippers, too. People underestimate how important this early bonding is, and plop their kid in front of the TV all day. They need face time, and you need game time, so use it wisely.

2) Designated Time Off AND Out. Tuesdays and Thursdays you do this, Mondays, you do that, Sunday morning is no good for... See where this is going? Just like our forefathers would go league bowling, or play bridge, or Friday night poker, there is magic in that one day of the week you KNOW you can be available to game. For me, it happens to be Tuesdays. It's the middle of the week so it doesn't lock down my weekends (so we are free to travel or deal with family obligations) and the local game store is open late enough to accommodate my gaming group. It isn't a perfect situation - not all of my old buddies can be there on Tuesdays, and some can only come every other week due to work schedules. The bottom line is: pick a day that works for the majority of your group and stick with it. No one wants to be excluded, but with a large, diverse gaming community, you can't make everyone happy. If you continue to game regularly, eventually the stragglers will be able to adjust their schedules around the Game Night.

The other advantage to a public and regular Game Night is attraction of new players. In my old life, I could invite people willy-nilly to my home for Friday Night gaming and they had run of the place. The disadvantage was that I was inviting strangers into my home after only a cursory vetting. I wasn't hanging out in the game stores, so if I wanted to play with them they were given directions to my garage; everyone hoped they didn't show up with a chainsaw. Some people (especially women) aren't comfortable just showing up at a stranger's house, either.

3) Designated Time Off AND In. It is entirely possible you don't have a local game store or other neutral place to meet. You could then have people come to your home to play. Before turning your house into a gaming mecca, there are considerations other than "stranger danger." Your significant other may not be hip on regular meetings in "their" home. Face it: not all gamers are well behaved, or even bathe properly. Most of us are at the very least "enthusiastic" and loud. If you don't have an understanding spouse, you shouldn't make this a regular thing. No fun will come of this. If you have a room that can be isolated from the rest of the house, all the better. These game nights also led to vast quantities of soda and snacks being drained from my home, most of which I was not reimbursed for. Work this out with your players ahead of time to avoid hurt feelings. If you have children who aren't participating in the game, then they need to be cared for. This could be a great night for the kids to see Grandma, or, if old enough, asked to play quietly in another room. What you don't want to do is have your guests and your children competing for your attention. No fun will come of this, either. The bottom line on this type of gathering is that it may be best to rotate to the different players homes if practical. This takes the burden off one person becoming the permanent host.

4) Game When You Can. Make the most effective use of your downtime. When your child is doing laps at soccer and you are forced into small talk with the other parents, you could be reading a rulebook, or designing a dungeon. Laundry day? Unless you are beating your clothes on a rock in a stream, you have time between loads to paint figs. If you eat lunch at an office job, why not try and find someone to play a Magic: the Gathering with? We spend time a million ways, and everyone has a different opinion on what is a waste. I am dead-set against online MMORPGs, like World of Warcraft. Nothing ate more of my time with less payout. Updating your Facebook all day? Getting into pointless flamewars on 4chan or Fark? Watching ANYTHING on MTV?

All of the above suggestions are for naught if you can't come to some sort of understanding with your family. If they truly love you, they will understand your desire to get back into the hobbies you have enjoyed for so long. If they are unreasonably inflexible, then you may need to assert yourself.. or find a good lawyer.